A real life Angel.
Originally uploaded by evanlane.com
I am no angel.
Like Alma, I would like to be one.
I once inadvertently stepped on a toddler who was playing on the floor. I felt just terrible, especially when she pulled away in abject fear at my attempts to comfort and apologize to her. At that moment, the Spirit seemed to reveal to me that I would unintentionally hurt people throughout my life. That was a terrible--and helpful--revelation.
And so it is. There are those--including beloved family members-- whom I inadvertently step upon. As happened with the little child, when they recoil from me I cannot make things right. Even though my only desires are to love and comfort them, I cannot change their hearts. Neither can I make right the conflicts between one loved one and another.
That hurts.
I realize now that Alma's sin in wishing to be an angel--he himself called it a sin--was not in that he wanted those whom he cared about to be happier, but that he did not trust in the Lord for His love, for His timing. (See Alma 29.) That is my problem, too: not being able to completely trust in the Lord.
Accepting His will in my own life is much easier than trusting Him with those I love.
I am thankful for Alma's honesty. With the desires that I harbor, it is good to know that I am in good company.
That is certainly a comfort as I try to heal.
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1 comment:
Thank you for your insights. I had never thought of Alma's wish to be an angel as a sign of little faith (relatively speaking of course). As I read over Alma 29 now, it seems so clear. How could I have missed that? Thank you.
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