I had a temple recommend interview with a member of the Bishopric last night. Anticipating this visit, I did not feel particularly apprehensive about meeting with just this one kind man, but I did fortify myself with anti-anxiety medication for the inevitable interactions with various other people at the meetinghouse. I did all right, and was able to hold myself together until business was done, but I broke down afterward, and had to wait in the car for my husband to finish his interview and quickly drive me home. (He was very kind to drive me, rather than have me drive myself, as he had to turn right around and go back for meetings which he needed to attend.)
As I anticipated the recommend interview, I was blessed with the Lord's witness to my soul that He considered me worthy to attend the temple. All that troubled me was just how I would answer one particular question, the one about whether I attended all of my meetings. That would take some explaining, since I currently don't attend anything, due to the state of my mental health. Like so many, the Bishopric member attributed my lack of ward attendance as necessitated in the fulfillment of a stake calling. He was not aware that I was released, due to illness, many months ago.
The questions came, and I was able to answer each in the affirmative, with conviction. But, in the back of my mind as the interview progressed was: How would I answer the one about meeting attendance? Just how much would I have to explain?
The question finally came. It was not what I had remembered. In my healthy state before, an essential word had been expressed time and again without my ever noticing. The question was not "Do you attend . . .?" but, rather, "Do you strive to attend . . .?"
I was once again touched by the awareness of the Lord. That question I could easily answer in the affirmative, as much as the others.
I continue to marvel at the often subtle nuances in the operation of the church, which time and again testify that the Lord loves each and every one of us, and understands our many challenges, and sees our hearts. I become aware of this again and again as I study the scriptures. My exposure to handbooks and manuals has proven that such awareness permeates their pages as well.
(Thank you to this photographer for the picture.)
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2 comments:
And with that the YW saying. We are daughters of our hf who loves us................ ect. Isnt it amazing.....over and over. We love our children but he shows it in such a perfect way, each and everytime. Sorry you had to wait in the car. Sorry, your health is not what it should be but maybe its so I can learn from you and many other people who you touch each day. Thanks DA
Thank you for sharing this experience. It is always quite touching when these things happen, and it confirms once again that we are a bunch of imperfect people striving to simply do our best. And most importantly, our best is enough. Thank you for reminding me once again that my best is enough. I love you!
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